Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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