new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
