so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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