i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize