i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
