she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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