it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
