I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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