So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
