I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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