DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
