What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
