You don't have asthma, your pregnant
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
