Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
