I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
