I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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