If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
