where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How's work?
Spinning.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
