Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
