that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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