Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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