haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
