Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
