Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
someone owes me an orgasm
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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