people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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