Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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