You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
