____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
