His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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