I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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