Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize