It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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