I am midnight drunk by noon
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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