remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
