do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
