Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
