apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize