My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
