Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
