Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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