Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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