My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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