But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
