Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
