she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
