i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
