So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize