That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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