so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
