for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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