i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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