can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
