either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
