Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
