So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
