i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
