Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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