you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
