He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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