he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she smelled like a LAN party
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
