what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
