It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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