Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
