you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize